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I don't know how to break it to those poor guys in California, but we are drowning in water back east. We have so much water that just this morning, I took a bubble bath just to watch the bubbles burst -- and create a few extra bubbles, too. Governor Brown declared a water … [Read more...]
1. All right, first thing’s first: how drunk are you? Ok, not bad. But, are you wasted enough to walk over to a living, breathing woman and engage her in a conversation? I didn’t think so. 2. Drink more. 3. Scope out the area. Her? No, that’s clearly a spray tan. … [Read more...]
I think someone is spying on me. How else can I explain why, whenever I buy ANYTHING, the price is guaranteed to drop the next day, if not sooner? This works for gas, groceries, clothing, doesn't really matter. That's why I'm convinced someone is following me, just waiting to … [Read more...]
My dog, Gracie, is an unabashed food thief, the Jean Valjean of dogs. In fact she once stole a baguette from the dining room table and ran around the house with it, the ends of the bread protruding from either side of her mouth. She is true to her French heritage, as basset … [Read more...]
Everybody has noticed how flowers are arranged and labeled at a funeral home. What would it be like if the mourners who bought the floral arrangements were painfully honest? For example, take the large flat spray on the casket (coffin for you purists, a casket is a jewelry box), … [Read more...]