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Dot was depressed. She was an ordinary English full stop. Like many of her punctilious friends she was frequently abused. She wondered if life might have been better in America, being known as a period. But she’d have been confused with something else, expected to play volley … [Read more...]
It was the dead of winter and something about the yogurt splashed on my living room walls was depressing me, so I decided to take my two boys, Hell on Wheels and The Destroyer, out for a drag around the mall. We hadn’t been shopping since before Christmas and I was pretty sure … [Read more...]
My husband pushed back from the table and announced, “I need to lose a few pounds,” and trotted off to find the scale. He probably lost three pounds on the exertion of walking to the bathroom. Unfortunately, I probably gained them. He walked right over to the scale and stepped … [Read more...]
Modern men face a peril that didn’t exist twenty years ago: couples showers. How did this happen? At my recent baby shower, I had two hours to ponder this unseemly trend. In the glory days, whenever a shower was planned, associates with a “Y” chromosome had to vacate the … [Read more...]
In order to keep our romance alive, my wife Laura and I attempted to engage in a ritual we had only heard about from “friends who knew friends who knew someone who did this.” I’m speaking of course about the mythical “Date Night,” wherein a married couple picks one night a week … [Read more...]