Attending Your High School Reunion Checklist: 12 months before: Restrict calories. Schedule more workouts. Start using wrinkle cream. 9 months before: Worry that weight isnβt coming off fast enough, and the wrinkles havenβt disappeared. 6 months before: Ditto. 3 months … [Read more...]
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"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM SHOWCASE
AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2012 Humor Writing Contest Results!
"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM SHOWCASE
February-March 2010 Humor Writing Contest Results!
Giving My Kids a Tune-Up
During long car rides with my kids, we listen to the carefully-curated iPod playlist I created for them back when they were little. As each tune shuffles to the top, my 10-year-old son and his twin 7-year-old sisters vote to "play" or "skip" the song. In addition to a vote, each … [Read more...]
"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM SHOWCASE
AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2009 Humor Writing Contest Results!
Why I’m Crotchety
I turned 57 today, and I'm not too happy about it. Everything about getting old is bad, at least physically. I just got back from our annual family reunion (see my Pulitzer Prize-losing article, Reunions Aren't for Sissies) and when my brothers and I lined up for the family … [Read more...]
"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM SHOWCASE
October-november 2009 Humor Writing Contest Results!
Clearing The Air
One of the many dilemmas facing parents these days pertains to meal choices, and their consequences. For example, I avoid granola and bark mulch-based breakfast cereals because they produce in me enormous volumes of gas, which Iβm sure youβre delighted to know. My children, … [Read more...]
"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM SHOWCASE
December 2007-January 2008 Humor Writing Contest Results!
Resolving Mediocrity
New Yearβs Resolutions are awful. They basically set you up for failure. I remember my parents βgiving up smokingβ every January 1. After about three days, the six of us kids would literally be begging to walk down to the corner store to buy their nicotine-starved cranky selves … [Read more...]
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