I’ve been reading a lot lately about North Korea’s Kim Jong-il, who for some reason is developing nuclear (or nuke-U-ler, if your middle initial is W) weaponry. And I got to thinking… what’s with this guy?
Why the big bully campaign? What’s he trying to prove? So I did a little research and quickly stumbled upon the one piece of the puzzle that pretty much sums it all up.
Actually, more (or in this case, less) than short. He’s diminutive. Petit. Pocket-sized. Wee, even. I’m talking too-short-to-ride-the-big-kid-rides-at-Six-Flags-Over-Seoul-short. Short-enough-to-make-Tom-Cruise-look-tall-short. So short he wears lifts, stands on a platform, AND sports a pompadour bigger than Jimmy Neutron’s.
Just who does he think he’s fooling? All that effort just brings more attention to the fact that Kim is well… L’il.
And haven’t short guys caused enough grief throughout human history? Napoleon comes to mind. A darn fine pastry, but as a leader? Not so much.
I’m not sure how tall (or short) Hitler was exactly, but I’m willing to bet he needed a boost into the old bunk bed. And how about Nero? Not only short, but also a toga-wearing fiddle-player. Talk about your geek tri-fecta.
Why can’t the height-challenged channel their shortness in a more positive direction? Become a jockey or something, for God’s sake. What girl doesn’t love a partner who can obsess over every calorie with her? Or go to New York and be harmlessly eccentric.
Woody Allen did it. So did Truman Capote.
Hey, take a look at George Stephanopoulos; a short guy with an unfortunate name and a lot of Clinton on his resume. He worked it out, didn’t he? You don’t see him coming up with ways to destroy civilization. As least as far as we know.
My message to Kim Jong-il is this: Dude, get over yourself. No matter how many bombs you drop, you’ll still be short. Even if you wipe out the entire human race, you’ll still need a step-stool to brush your teeth.
Why not spend a little time and money trying to actually solve your problem? How about researching shin extenders or human growth hormones, or something?
Or at the very least, do something about that hair.