I have a smallpox scar. I have a smallpox scar from having smallpox stuffed into me with a needle by the government. I was five when the government gave me smallpox. Okay, they gave me a teeny, tiny speck of smallpox, but the scar is still ugly. Since then, I’ve been inoculated, … [Read more...]

First, an apology: An outpouring of grief has no place as a humor contest entry. I need, however, an audience for my sorrow. Please hear me out. A death is never pleasant. This one hit me especially hard. The loss created an empty space in my life but because of the … [Read more...]

Blanche and John Bickerson's divorce was finalized yesterday at the Summerfield County courthouse. The Honorable Homer Huggins presided over the proceedings. Blanche Bickerson accused her husband of unfaithfulness, drunkenness, snoring and lack of support. John responded with … [Read more...]

I learned the meaning of humility a few years back when I took our hamster to the vet. We sat between the owners of a Persian and a poodle, and I thought the cat, the dog, and their people were all eying me and my shoebox a little smugly. Especially the cat. Maybe it was just … [Read more...]

Ever since the movie The Bucket List came out it seems that everyone and their grandma feels the need to have one. I don’t have anything on my bucket list. Maybe it’s just pure cynicism. I mean, how many of these bucket list people are really jumping out of planes, crashing … [Read more...]