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| "AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM
SHOWCASE
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December 2006 / January 2007 Contest Results |
Rejection
By
Andy Benton,
New Mexico
Mr. Benton,
We want to first
say that we sincerely appreciate your interest in the MBA program at our
university. Having said that, however, we do have some concerns about
admitting you to our fine institution. First off, it's spelled Y-A-L-E
and there are no "I's" in our name whatsoever.
Also, on the
space marked "First Name" we wanted YOUR first name not the first name
that came to your mind. The same goes for the "Last Name" section as
well. Also, there may have been some confusion as to your application
date, as we are no longer accepting applicants for the Fall 1996
semester.
Furthermore, we
found it unnecessary for you to write in "No, because I have mad cash"
in the "Are you going to be applying for financial aid?" portion of your
application, when simply checking the "No" box would have been
sufficient.
I am afraid that
we cannot issue you in-state tuition because, well, firstly, we are not
located in Amarillo, Texas, as you seem to think we are, and secondly,
you don't even live in Texas, as stated in the address portion of your
application.
Moving on to your employment background, unfortunately "I raked my
parents lawn one time when I was 5 and they gave me a quarter" does not
qualify as employment.
However glowing
and filled with praise it might have been, the letter of recommendation
you wrote for yourself will not affect our decision. And, quite
honestly, the second letter of recommendation will have to be thrown out
as well, for you obviously wrote it yourself, as it was just a copy of
the first letter with Andy Benton scratched out and replaced with "Your
Mom." And we are unsure as to whose mom you are referring.
As for your essay, we looked it up in multiple dictionaries and were
unable to find the word "awesomestupendous." We had hoped that we would
be able to, seeing as you used it repeatedly in your essay. While we did
say that the essay was to be under 1000 words, we were hoping it would
be longer than 15 words, seven of which were the aforementioned word.
However, don't fret because creative, thinking-out-of-the-box kind of
people are always welcome here at our fine institution.
Unfortunately, we are going to have to deny admittance to this
university at this time. Upon researching your listed undergraduate
school "Smart People Science and Mathematical Engineering Creative
University" we were unable to find it on any of the accreditation lists.
We do acknowledge that you probably did work very hard to achieve your
degrees in "Chemo-Algebra" and "Medical Business Law Engineering," we
cannot accept those degrees without the proper accreditation.
We would like to
wish you the best in all your future endeavors, however.
Thank You,
Dean of Admissions
Yale University MBA Program
http://www.myspace.com/andypbenton
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