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| "AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM
SHOWCASE
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April / May 2006 Contest Results |
In Search Of
Naked Famous People
By Wayne Scheer, Georgia
There I was in a
nudist resort nestled in a canyon near Los Angeles. The grounds were
breathtakingly beautiful. The hot tub was perched on the highest peak
and overlooked a view of the mountains that could make an eagle cry.
But it wasn’t nature that I was there to see, at least not that kind. I
had been told that this resort was frequented by movie stars and other
famous people, and by God, I wanted to know if the rich really are
different from you and me.
Rumor had it that movie stars ranging from Tom Selleck to Helen Hunt
hung out here (sorry, but the pun is intentional), and since I was
visiting California I was determined to do what tourists do -- see movie
stars.
Now, I have to tell you. Nudism, to me, is no big deal. I’ve attended
numerous nudist parks over the past thirty years and on most warm
weekends my wife and I can be found at a nudist resort near our home. So
I’m not one of your typical voyeurs. I’m a specialist. I was there to
peek at naked famous people, not just your ordinary ones.
Let’s face it. The thrill of seeing ordinary people naked ends pretty
quickly. Most of us sag, droop and flop like flags on a windy day.
However, I was in California, and there were some beautiful people
there. Not many, but some. Sadly, they stood out (the pun is once again
intentional and I apologize profusely), much as they do at any other
resort.
I did overhear one interesting bit of dialogue that I figure could only
have been uttered in California and apparently involved an almost famous
person.
A young man in his twenties, tanned and naked, walked up to a fortyish-looking
woman, also naked, and asked, “Aren’t you so and so of the blankety-blank
agency?”
Now you have to remember, the woman, nude, is lying on her back and the
young man is standing over her. Naked. “You interviewed me for the such
and such project.”
I couldn’t hear all of the conversation, but the woman remembered him
and these two totally naked people discussed business as if they were
lunching at a local cafe.
It was all pleasant enough but apparently no famous people were on
display, so I began packing my towel and tanning lotion when I spotted
two young, blond women, pointing and smiling in my direction.
“I guess I still have it,” I said to myself as they walked towards me.
“Gutt ahftanoon,” one of them said in a thick accent I assumed was
German. It took a while, but I finally realized after much difficulty
that they were convinced I was Kenny Rogers. And they wanted a picture
of me (aka Kenny) with them, so they could go back home and show their
friends that they met someone famous.
So if you happen to come across a site on the Internet claiming to
contain pictures of Kenny Rogers, naked, romping with two naked women,
don’t get excited. It’s only me and my two new friends.
It was the least I could do for them, since I understood how thrilled
they were at seeing a famous person in the flesh.
And I apologize one last time for the pun.
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