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February
/ March 2006 Contest Results |
Hungry Hungry
Kitties
By Jessica Savrock,
Pennsylvania
Growing up, my
younger brother and I were not members of one of those families
fortunate enough to have a house pet. Not to say we didn’t have great
childhoods, but something about the thought of a shedding, four-legged
creature roaming loose about the house caused Mom and Dad shudder with
fear and respond to our every pleading request with an astounding “NO.”
Sure, we went
through our fair share of goldfish and hamsters, but nothing came close
to filling that special place in our hearts as our “man’s best friend.”
So, not even
five minutes after unpacking the last box in my first apartment did I
decide to get a kitten. Not that I knew the first thing about raising a
kitten, but the eighteen years of animal withdrawal had finally gotten
to me. Enter Nikko: the gray-and-white marked, domestic shorthaired,
claws-still-intact feline. My first real pet.
The time he
tried to kill the fake mouse, I took pictures. When he used the litter
box for the first time, I applauded (my roommates rolled their eyes).
The time he got himself stuck between a screen window and its glass
pane, I seriously considered packing him up and shipping him back off to
where he came from. But,despite his climbing up the curtains, constant
chewing through electrical wires, and pouncing on my feet in the middle
of the night, I adored his existence. So one can imagine that I didn’t
even bat an eye the night he ate an entire unopened bag of cat treats --
foil and all. That was just the beginning.
Four years,
63,000 tuna-flavored chewy cat treats and eighteen pounds later, I have
come to the conclusion that I am the proud owner of the world’s
HUNGRIEST cat.
This kitty isn’t
joking around when it comes to food. If you were to leave an unattended
bag of cat food on the kitchen counter, you’d have a better chance of
being struck by lightening than to think it won’t be ransacked with
tooth and claw marks upon your return.
Think it might
be better to shut that food tight in the closet? Think again. This cat
will break that door right off its hinges. And I wouldn’t even dare to
leave any type of meat, poultry, dairy, meat byproduct, French fry, or
any other edible food known to man anywhere within his reach. If he
smells it, he will come.
Recently, while
informing an old friend online of my pet’s out of control obsession with
food, I explained, “He tries to eat the other [my roommate’s] cats.”
“He tries to eat
their food?” she typed.
“No, no. He
literally tries to eat her cats!” I exclaimed.
I’ve witnessed
this myself. A ravenous Nikko will use his tremendous weight to hold
down a fellow feline while going for a bite to the neck. A shrill shriek
can be faintly heard from far beneath the fur. Suddenly, the prey tries
to make his escape and a mass fur ball runs up the stairs. Then back
down. Then up again. It’s attempted kitty cannibalism at its finest.
Finally, both
cats will emerge from battle -- one with an almost pitiful look of
defeat, his tail between his legs, while the other licks his lips in
another rousing victory. I’ll let you determine which cat is mine.
He’s been known
to eat hot dogs, blocks of cheese and entire chicken breasts in one
sitting. If there is a scrap of leftover food in the garbage can, it
will be his nighttime mission to knock over the can to devour it
(coincidentally, this usually happens right before I enter the kitchen,
barefoot, for my midnight snack). And that sound similar to a pack of
fighter jets flying overhead every time you open the pantry? No need to
fear... it’s just Nikko racing down the stairs, his super-sonar ears
having picked up on the possibility that you opened that pantry to feed
him (again).
His breathing is
so loud that you can hear him from another room. His belly itself is
bigger than a small child. And he will swat at your legs in the morning
if there is no food in his bowl. But, he is cuddly, fun, and there to
cheer me up when I have a bad day. He may be literally larger than life,
but he is my first -- and only -- pet (thank goodness)!
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