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"AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM

December 2005/January 2006 Contest Results
BOOK TWO NOW AVAILABLE!

America's Funniest Humor! Book Two
Complete Results:
Dec2005/Jan2006 & Feb/March 2006

Congratulations to the Winners, Finalists, Semi-Finalists & Honorable Mentions in our December/January Humor Writing Contest!

Entries went through several rounds of judging and were carefully reviewed based on our exclusive "H-U-M-O-R"SM judging criteria:

  • H = Humor -- Does it make us laugh?
  • U = Universality -- Is it fairly "clean"?
  • M = Moxie -- Does it have plenty of zing?
  • O = Originality -- Is it fresh and new?
  • R = 'Riting -- Is it well-'ritten?
    (OK, "well-written," but we couldn't judge entries on "H-U-M-O-W", now could we?)

You, too, can get in on the fun, get published online and in print, and win cash prizes! Enter "America's Funniest Humor!" Writing Contest Today!

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Enter "America's Funniest Humor"TM Writing Contest to claim (or regain) a spot in our Humor Showcase!


 

 

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December 2005 / January 2006 WINNERS...
(Click ANY Title to See Entry)

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The Weighting Game
By Denise Malloy
Bozeman, MT
First-Place Winner, December 2005 / January 2006
HumorPress.com says:
Any way you size it up, this one's worth its weight in gold on the humor scale!

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Poker Face
By Daniel Bain
Raleigh, NC
Second-Place Winner, December 2005 / January 2006
HumorPress.com says:
Speaking of size, humor does matter -- and just try singing "that song" again with a straight face! 

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Surprise Me With Something
By Rebecca Gernon
Kenner, LA
Third-Place Winner, December 2005 / January 2006
HumorPress.com says: Guys, if you value your love life, you'll read this BEFORE you buy her that TurboGizmo!

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December 2005 /January 2006 FINALISTS... 
(in alphabetical order by author)

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The Cheese Stands Alone
By Lisa Barker
Greenfield, CA
Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006

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The Miracle of Modern Medicine
By Lisa Barker
Greenfield, CA
Finalist, December 2005 /January 2006

. .
Winter Olympics Makeover
By Ken Bobrosky
Nassau, Bahamas
Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006
. .

The Value of Higher Education
By Jennifer Brown
Liberty, MO
Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006

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The Committee
By Renee Devon
Warren, VT
Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006

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Help Around The House
By Cindy Dwyer
Guilford, CT
Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006
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Science Isn't Always Fair
By Faith Foyil
Nassau, Bahamas
Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006

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Off The Back Burner
By Mark Hawthorne
Rohnert Park, CA
Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006

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Categorically Speaking
By Margaret Howlett
Concord, CA
Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006

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Calling In Sick
By Jennifer Karin
Newburyport, MA
Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006

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Dude, Where's My Son?
By Jackie Papandrew
Largo, FL
Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006
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My Daughter, Myself
By Ami Peltier
Cadillac, MI
Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006

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December 2005 / January 2006 SEMI-FINALISTS... 
(in alphabetical order by author)

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What's For Dinner? Don't Ask!
By Lisa Barker
Greenfield, CA
Semi-Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006

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Relocation to Hell
By C. Hope Clark
Chapin, SC

Semi-Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006

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Skinny Munchies
By Sally Clark
Fredericksburg, TX
Semi-Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006

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. Back To School
By CJ Cornelius
Gaithersburg, MD
Semi-Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006
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Losing My Mind
By Faith Foyil
Nassau, Bahamas
Semi-Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006

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. How Two Iguanas Could Change My Life
By Richard Harrison
Venice, FL
Semi-Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006
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Gone To The Funny Farm
By Meghan Kinsey
Newburyport, MA
Semi-Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006

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The Oldest Child
By Carol MacAllister
Ocean Grove, NJ
Semi-Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006

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Gangster Patrol
By TC McClenning
Talking Rock, GA
Semi-Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006

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Darwinism or Creationism?
By Frank Mucci
Woodstock, IL
Semi-Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006

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Pea Sized
By Danielle Mutarelli
Merrimack, NH
Semi-Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006

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The Hardest Exercise
By Dace Pedecis
Tacoma, WA
Semi-Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006

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. Maple Infidelity
By Ryan Roe
San Antonio, TX
Semi-Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006
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. I Fought The Fear Of Fitness -- And Failed
By Judi Veoukas
Lake Villa, IL
Semi-Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006
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Why I'll Never Have the Write Stuff
By Cynthia Washam
Jensen Beach, FL
Semi-Finalist, December 2005 / January 2006

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December 2005 / January 2006 HONORABLE MENTIONS... 
(in alphabetical order by author)

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The Interview
By Jessica Benes
Collins, CO
Honorable Mention, December 2005 / January 2006

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Males Don't Stand A Chance
By Leslie Friesen
Dallas, OR
Honorable Mention, December 2005 / January 2006

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The Construction Men Cometh
By Joan Geary
Fitzwilliam, NH
Honorable Mention, December 2005 / January 2006

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My Son The Bookkeeper
By Vince Johnson
Auburn, CA
Honorable Mention, December 2005 / January 2006

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My Next Husband Will Be Normal
By Marsha Jordan
Harshaw, WI
Honorable Mention, December 2005 / January 2006

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Home For The Holidays
By Meghan Kinsey
Newburyport, MA
Honorable Mention, December 2005 / January 2006

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I'm Fine With Water
By Catherine Lanser
Madison, WI
Honorable Mention, December 2005 / January 2006

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Battlegrounds
By Terry Lilley
Albuquerque, NM
Honorable Mention, December 2005 / January 2006

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Prescription
By Carol MacAllister
Ocean Grove, NJ
Honorable Mention, December 2005 / January 2006

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Break A Leg
By Eileen Mitchell
Palatine, IL
Honorable Mention, December 2005 / January 2006

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Congratulations To EVERYONE Who Entered!

If your entry was not recognized this time, please don't give up! Writing humor is a specialized craft, and it takes time and effort to master any craft. 

  • Some entries were well-written, but needed more work setting up the humor and punching up the punch lines. Try structuring your work with distinct set-ups and punch lines throughout the piece.
  • Other entries had plenty of punch, but relied on coarseness or vulgarity, which limited their potential readership. Try writing as if your piece were for a daily newspaper to achieve the most universal appeal.

However, just by entering you made a great effort and we commend you for it! (You already did better than those who just thought about entering, but didn't even try!)

We hope you will try again and look forward to seeing more of your work!

Enter Today!

Like to see your name in print? Love to rant and rave about your favorite topics? Channel that creative energy by entering our humor writing contests!

ENTER HUMORPRESS.COM'S HUMOR WRITING CONTEST!

Have Fun! Get Published! Win Cash Prizes!SM

  • Bi-Monthly Contest
  • June/July entry period is 6/1/08 through 7/31/08
  • Entries should be 750 words or less
  • $250.00 in total cash prizes will be awarded. Five winners will be named.
  • Winners, Finalists/Semi-Finalists & Honorable Mentions will be published online! Selections also may appear in optional print edition(s) with no book purchase required!
  • Entry Fee is only $10, So Don't Miss Out. Enter Today!
  • Multiple entries are allowed, including your columns previously published elsewhere. Each entry must include an entry fee.
  • Book purchase is optional and is not required for entry.
    (Get Book One! Get Book Two! Get Book Three!)
 

 

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