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| "AMERICA'S FUNNIEST HUMOR"TM
SHOWCASE
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| October/November
2005 Contest Results |
"In Defense
of Fruitcake"
By Jerry S.
O'Fallon, MO
Semi-Finalist, October/November 2005
There is sits,
ladies and gentlemen, in all its succulent tradition, rich in history,
rich in legend, and rich in calories and carbohydrates.
Note, if you will,
the gleaming burnt umber coloration of the surface, a surface that only
hints at the luscious compacted mass underneath. Befittingly, it is
adorned with jewel-like implantations of candied red and green cherries
and bits of golden pineapple, all reflecting holiday candlelight off their
leathery surfaces like the rubies, emeralds, and sapphires in a royal
crown.
Shards of imbedded
walnuts and pecans add fascinating textural qualities. It is a work of
art, noble in its creation, and regal in its appearance. It is, ladies and
gentlemen, a FRUITCAKE!...
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